Doh Re Mi

"Oh, I have one more thing to pass out," our conductor remarks innocuously in the last fifteen minutes of orchestra. He shuffles around a few papers. We were putting together the final program for pops night—a night of fun music and food. So far we had tried out Lion King, Beach Boys, Mission Impossible, Pirates of the Caribbean, and many other popular music pieces. Annie and I look at the sheet of music he hands us now. On the top, in big capital letters it reads: SPIDER PIG. Cue laughter. In the space where it indicates how it should be played—adagio, allegro, etc. once in a while 'majestically' or 'with feeling'—it tells the musician 'as serious as a heart attack'. Below that was listed at least ten composers that collaborated on the piece, and it's easy to see why. With four vocal parts and filling a page of music from what was a thirty second clip of The Simpsons Movie, Spider Pig the orchestral arrangement was fit for an opera or at least seriously scary. The eerie melody is sung by the alto and soprano (optional vocal parts), while tenor harmonizes. Spi-der-pig-uh it reads, reminding the singer of that extra 'uh' to make the music just right. The bass line consists of the syllable 'doh' repeated over and over almost two hundred times with only one variation: the words 'look out' in the fourteenth measure. The last note? A giant DOH! from the bass.

Sachi