Funny Teacher Quotes I Scribbled in Margins

Student: Do you want to retire?
Teacher: No, if I did I wouldn't be here.
Student: What would you do if you retired?
Teacher: I would be in the garden all the time.
Student: What about when it snows?
Teacher: I would find an indoor garden.


"Remember, theses, like people, come in many shapes and sizes... some are one sentence, some are two..." (continues rambling for a while) "...in junior year you will write a junior thesis..."


As an example sentence: "Sleeping is my favorite sport."
A student says: "It actually is my favorite sport."
Teacher: "Mine too! I really love it!"


My Spanish teacher is allways talking about how she hates math. Once she said: "Numbers! I'd just drop out!" A student said, "Drop out of what, life?" "Yes," said the teacher.


Student: I would take out my book, but it ran away.
Teacher: I hate when that happens.


Principal, talking to students from South at an assembly: "Welcome to the dark side of the city... The better side? What do you want to call it?"


Student: You smell good. What kind of perfume do you use?
My art teacher: I don't.
Student: That's your natural scent?


This wasn't teachers, it was two kids, but I thought it was funny so I'll include it:
Person 1: It's a twee!
Person 2: A what?
Person 1: A twee!
Person 2: A what?
Person 1: A twee!
Person 2: A what?
Person 1: A tree.
Person 2: Oh. Don't talk like that.

-Rebecca