Some Miscellaneous Laughs

I suppose you are all bored with the ubiquitous collection of random funny quotations on this blog, but, being as cruel as I am, I would like to torture you with some more. Enjoy!

In history class, a student was presenting his end-of-year project topic, when suddenly he stopped--"WHAT?"
The teacher replied, "Oh, nothing. I was just rolling my eyes."

Person A: (to paraphrase) "I wish I liked hamburgers. It would be very useful to like them, because they're like sandwiches, but more filling, and they are served at almost every restaurant, and it would be very convenient if I liked them. But I don't.

Person B: That sounded like an audition monologue.

Person 1: (excuse me if I get this quote wrong--I am paraphrasing from memory) "...My teacher said that the final exam is like a dish, with scallions and potatoes...she's gone crazy!"

Person 2: "Teachers often make strange analogies to final exams. One of my teachers said that the final exam is like hitting a beach ball with a tennis racket--it's so easy!"

-Philip