Eating the Elephant

We had senior seminars last week, in which we listen to our counselors talk about all of the exciting steps in the process of applying to college.  You know how counselors like to use cliche metaphors to give their students advice.  My counselor asked, "How do you eat an elephant?"  Someone muttered, "Bite by bite."  "Yes," my counselor said, "You eat an elephant one bite at a time."  I thought to myself, is there anything that you don't eat one bite at a time?  

Counselor meetings can get boring, even for an attentive student like me.  I found my eyes wandering around the room, which by the way, was shaped like a tall slice of pie.  I happened to discover a bookcase, which held books presumably used by the counselor.  They had titles like Normal Adolescence, Parent and Teenager, Families of Today, The Art of Child Discipline, or something like that.  I suppose those books might come in handy if the counselor ever had a severe case to settle.

Speaking of elephants, I would like to tell some stories about my really strange gym class.  At the beginning of the school year, I had no gym class.  My counselor then put me into a class called Personal and Group Awareness (PGA), which was the only gym class that could fit into my schedule.  The activities have ranged from the standard team-building activities (like the human knot) to the absurd and highly awkward.  For example, we have an activity called polar response.  To do this, the teacher draws a line on the blackboard (this is in M19, in case you hadn't figured it out) with opposite answers on the ends.  In the middle is a big X.  Then, he will tell a scenario.  Depending on how he/she would respond, each student goes up to the board and writes his/her initials somewhere on the continuum.  The only rule is that you can't put your initials in the middle (the X)--you have to pick a side.  Here are some of the scenarios that we have had: suppose you would be given one million dollars if you don't shower, brush you teeth, or clean yourself in any way for six months.  Would you do it?  If you could make a person cease to exist just by thinking "bye bye" and the person's name, would you use the power?  If you saw someone pulling a fire alarm, would you report it?  Through these activities, I have come up with one conclusion: the world is full of level-one people.  If you don't know what that means, look up Dabrowski, or ask Sachi about it.  Basically, it means that you're self-centered.

Another amusing aspect of PGA is people who arrive late.  The class is in A block, and there are bound to be some late-comers.  My gym teacher makes a big deal about how it is important for the Group that everyone arrive on time.  So when class begins, he shouts, "I'm locking up!" and locks the door.  Anyone who comes late has to knock, making a big disruption to the class, and answer the teacher's questions: "Why are you late?"  "I was sleeping."  "That's not a good excuse.  Class, should we let her in?"

Now, for the elephants that I alluded to before, and then forgot to tell about.  Today, the teacher said "You find yourself on an island....You are being chased by ravenous, wild, rabid elephants....You have to find a way off of the island."  Apparently, the way off of the island was to find your way to the other side of a cave.  A boy sitting near me mused, "how do you get off of an island through a cave?"

-Philip