Achoolera

   Today in community time (a very pointless class that is similar to the old B-block) we were supposed to do homework or read. The problem was, we didn't have any homework. So we had to read.
   Most people didn't have any books with them, and since my community is in my science classroom, there were science textbooks on the tables. One boy started reading one of them.
   "What is Chloria?" he asked. The class looked around, confused.
   "You mean chlorine? asked the teacher.
   "No - chorine-a," the student (we'll call him Joseph) insisted. "It keeps talking about it in this book. It says that it is in water."
   "That's chlorine," laughed one student in the room.
   "But why would a book about the human body be talking about chlorine?" I asked.
   "It's not!" shouted Joseph. "It's Chlorine-a!"
   At this point the teacher stood up and went over to Joseph's desk and looked at the book. "Not chlorine-a," she said. "Cholera."
   Students exchanged glances. Cholera sounded nothing like chlorine.
   "But what is it?" Joseph persisted.
   "It's a disease," answered the teacher.
   "But what is it?" he asked.
   "A disease," somewhat said.
   "But what does it do?"
   "Well," the teacher began, "people die from it..."
   "But what does it do?!" Joseph said in a rather loud voice.
   "Vomitting, diarrhea... I'll look it up," muttered the teacher.

   Later, in that same class, Joseph sneezed. He is one of those people (as am I) who doesn't sneeze normally, but rather makes a big scream-like exaggerated sneezish sound completely involentarily.
   "Joseph, you're full of bologna," the teacher muttered.
   "What was that?" snapped Joseph.
   "She said you were full of bologna," laughed one student.
   "But that was a real sneeze," Joseph responded. He seemed completely confused.
   "Of course it was," the teacher replied.
   "No, really, that's how I sneeze! I sneeze like that all the time! Do you want to hear how I fake sneeze? That's more realistic than a fake sneeze. Here's my fake sneeze: ACHOO!"
   At this point the entire class was laughing, and the teacher was looking at Joseph strangely. "What are you talking about? I never said it was a fake sneeze. Did I?"

-Rev. Samuel W. Wheet