It must be the swine flu...

I've been hearing a lot about swine flu lately.  It's strange, since there really isn't much risk from it here, but people can't help but talk about it.  There were at least two instances today in which a student with a cold came into class saying, "I have swine flu," and then a teacher told the student to sit far away from everyone else, and then the student said that he/she didn't actually have swine flu, he/she was just saying that.  

The subject also popped up in some more unexpected places.  

My English class, for example.

My English teacher has a vicious sense of humor, to put it lightly.  So of course, she couldn't help but make comments about swine flu interspersed throughout class.  I have collected a few quotations from her: 

When someone mentioned being sweaty (for it was unseasonably hot) my teacher interjected, "Horses sweat, men perspire, and women glow."  

Talking about how (in her opinion, anyway, and she wrote the writing handbook, so it must be official) when writing a list you don't use a comma before the and unless there is an and within the last item in the list, she used the example of ham and eggs.  "Except it isn't Kosher and it suggests swine flu."  

Later, for whatever reason, there was another mention of swine flu.  "Swine flu," she said in a Russian accent, "eeit keels you."

She smirked dryly as she said it, amused with herself.  Yes, she has a strange sense of humor.    

-Philip