Since when is going to the bathroom so complicated?

Although I'm nothing compared to some people on this blog, I'm pretty clumsy. No - not fall over your feet clumsy (Although I have occasionally been known to trip on nothing visible), but rather an incompitent sort of clumsy. And this gets me into some awkward situations - especially ones dealing with public bathrooms.

I was at a restaurant earlier this evening. It was a sort of small restaurant, and it had one of those single stall bathrooms that are really rather nice because they don't have doors that refuse to lock or stalls that make me feel kind of clostriphobic. However, being used to the other type, they confuse me and bring out my clumsy side.

I walked into the bathroom expecting it to have at least two stalls. I saw a sink on one side, so I instinctively turned the other direction to go into the stalls. But there were none, just a flat wall. I turned to the back wall, the only I had not examined, and found that there were no stalls, just a toilet.

I laughed at my foolishness and proceeded with the routine, until I came to washing my hands. I'm used to the cold water being on the right and the hot on the left, so I effortlessly turned the water to a nice, hottish warm temperature. But, to my surprise, it was cold, and didn't get warmer. I put in more and more hot water, but it just got colder and colder. I turned off the cold water, and it got almost unbearably cold, until I realized my mistake and reversed. They really should get the temperatures right.

Okay, problem done. I've washed my hands and the only step left is easy: drying them. What a relief.

Or not. This bathroom was equipped with an automatic towel dispenser. When I first used one I was quite good at it, but I've gone down hill since then. I waved my hand in front of the little glowing red dot, but nothing happened. I poked it a few times until, finally, the paper towel rolled out.

And it kept on going!

That's right. It didn't stop until it was at least twice the legnth it was supposed to be. I carefully picked out the line meant to rip on and cautiously tore the paper towel off. I did a messy job of it, though. It was a wavy rip that went above and below the line. I wonder what the next person to use the paper towels thought of it.

Finally, my trip was over! I quickly reached for the doorknob, eager to leave the confusing bathroom, but the door wouldn't open. I even manually locked it and unlocked it, even though the door automatically unlocks when the doorknob it turned. But it wouldn't open. IT WOULD NOT OPEN! Finally, exhasperated, I kicked the door, and it swung open so fast it was hard to believe it was ever stuck. I then realized I had been trying to open the door by pulling when I was really supposed to push.

- Marianne

P.S.: Yes, I did try to write this with a slightly Helenish tone, maybe because we haven't had much of it recently. I'm not sure if I succeeded