The Elusive Howard Dean

Yet another month is drawing to a close, and as I sit here at my desk, my fingers click-clacking on the keys on my laptop, I think about the funny and awkward stories that I can tell.

There was a traveling saga about my trip home for Easter, involving misunderstandings over the telephone when calling for a taxi, incompetent train ticket sellers who gave me tickets for the following Monday minutes before my train was scheduled to depart.

There was getting on the train, which was to be diverted from its normal route due to flooding in Rhode Island...the man I sat next to waking from his sleep to ask, "Where are we?"

"New Haven," I responded.

"Well, as long as it's not Heaven, I'm OK."

There was the long wait before the train left the station, and then the announcement that the engine had been successfully "tied back on." With string? Shoelaces?

But unfortunately, that took place too long ago for me to remember enough details to tell the full story, so you will have to enjoy the glimpses that I have provided.

A story that happened more recently, and therefore I can tell more easily, is the following:

The Yale Political Union usually invites a noteworthy guest to speak at the beginning of debates, after which students can ask questions and then proceed to debate the resolution themselves. During the last few weeks, we had some especially interesting guests: Senator Mark Warner of Virginia on "Resolved: Subsidize a Green Economy," South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford on "Resolved: Trust the Waffle House Rather than the White House" (that one was especially fun), and then Howard Dean was going to come to speak on the topic: "Resolved: China Must Inevitably Democratize."

I was planning to speak at that debate, as I had been told that the debate was really more about whether China should democratize, whether democracy is universally good, and I was interested in speaking in favor of the topic (the inevitable part was the part I was least willing to defend). Having said that I was interested in speaking, I received an e-mail saying that I could go to "speaker's dinner" on the topic with former Vermont Governor Howard Dean. The dinner was at 6:30 in Commons, the main dining hall.

I did think that seemed strange, since usually the guests were taken to a restaurant for dinner before debates rather than treated to a meal in the dining hall. But I had never gone to a dinner with a guest before, so I didn't know much. And the e-mail did say Commons.

So that Tuesday, I dressed up in a suit and swiped my card into Commons, excitedly looking for a group of people eating with Howard Dean.

I looked to my right...no Howard Dean. I looked to my left...no Dean. I continued on, farther and farther into Commons, and Howard Dean was nowhere in sight.

Eventually, I was able to end my awkward suit-clad wandering when I saw someone that I knew who was in the Political Union: the Chief Whip of the Independent Party.

"Do you know where Howard Dean is?" I asked.

"No, but usually they go to a nice restaurant. I can't imagine that they would make Howard Dean eat here."

"I wouldn't either, but I definitely remember getting an e-mail saying dinner with Howard Dean would be in Commons."

Could my memory have been that flawed? I certainly felt ridiculous, standing there in Commons wearing my suit, insisting that I had been told that Howard Dean would be eating in there.

She sent a text message to the president of the Political Union, only to confirm what was expected. Dinner with Howard Dean was taking place in a nice restaurant, and was almost over.

"Well, I suppose there's nothing wrong with wearing a suit to Commons," I mused sheepishly.

And with that, I went to get some food.

After the debate, I looked back at my e-mail, and sure enough it said that speaker's dinner was at Commons. But I realized that speaker's dinner was not the same as dinner with the guest. For one thing, it was the day before. I think it was more of an informal meeting for potential speakers to discuss what they would say. And it was just bad phrasing on their part to mention Howard Dean as part of the topic, not that he would be at the dinner in Commons.

So I am still one of the many people in the world who have never eaten dinner with Howard Dean.

-Philip