Order of Operations

Look, I know the fact that she's my relative shouldn't excuse anything. Believe me, I'm not encouraging nepotism here. I'm just asking for some leniency.

It's true that she breaks all the rules-she's constantly dividing by zero, and last Tuesday she took the square root of negative twelve without so much as a bye-your-leave to imaginary numbers. But let's get some perspective: at least she knows how to multiply polynomials. She also plays a mean game of bridge.

And yes, she does have bad habits. She leaves her improper fractions in the sink and never puts her derivatives back where she found them. She's really a sweet person, though-just a little absent-minded, and really, who isn't?

I won't deny that she's occasionally inclined to mix up her isosceles triangles with her scalenes, but she does know the Fibonacci sequence out to a hundred numbers. Plus, she always brings fantastic meat-loaf to our family reunions.

The transgressions, it seems, are numerous. But, come on, she's my mother's sister!

All I can ask for is your mercy. I hope that you will find it somewhere in your heart, deep down, to forgive. So, if you hold any compassion at all, I beg you to Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally.
-Alison